Upset & Dissapointed to the MAXIMUM!
I had pimple breakout, menses cramp (1st day), i was late, i didn't wear my pantyhose and to top it all today, I had an unfairly judgement for my appraisal.
Just because I didn't remember alot of facts (which I honestly told them), I was thus compared to someone who was not even on the same property. I wanna curse and farking swear in their faces, why am I being judged and compared to someone who didn't handled things that I did? Why is it that when I do good and great things, there is nobody that noticed? On days that I'm down, I was being judge so unfairly. It's fine by me. Tuhan tu Maha Adil. It's only coming 3 months, u don't expect me to get 10 compliments right?! Even at my previous place it took it what, 5 months to get noticed? Those that are currently in the same department took them 1 whole year! So what? I have 1 year background and nominated for Receptionist of The Year they THINK i can do magic is it? Yes I can do wonders, yes i can shine despite the rest and this particular thing is a whole new thing. Yes I know the map like the back of my hand and NO i don't normally make recommendation for high end food because I came from a god damn 4 star hotel! And which is why I didn't get through the finals!
I just hate it. First you said wrongly that i don't smile which i ALWAYS do at the counter. Yes, I may not always smile or say coming into the room and outburst a HI HELLO AMCM?? No. That's not me. I'm not an introvert. I just don't talk much. Secondly, punctuality. I am always on time but its not always on time that you do the briefing. And even tho i may appear that i'm lost in my world and caring about how i sweat so much just to do the annoying french up twist, i paid total attention. Unlike some people that doesn't even digest a thing. Haiz...I'm so utterly upset about this. This has affected me so much the whole day. It just made me wish one thing......
Park Hotel. Imiss doing Front Office there. I miss all of it, the idiotic people, the politics, my FOM, the carefreeness despite the low paying salary that is.
This is the 2nd time in my career i've been dissapointed. Perhaps it came from me myself. Perhaps NOT (which i think it is the case). Well, like i said, if it doesn't kill you - it only made you STRONGER!
I know there's alot of things that contributed to this 1 more month extended probation. I know maybe to some it doesn't mean anything, but to me it means so many. Yeah, what is one more month right? It's not just the month, it's what that have been said. If I have a choice, I wouldn't wanna work there too. Maybe it's true too, the drive for me is wrong. I'm init for the money. Well, who isn't?! SIGH! We'll see how this month goes. I need to have my holiday first, then I'll think about all this. In the meantime, let me wallow in self pity ;'(
