My New Love Interest ... LoVe lOvE

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(: Sony Ericsson Satio :)

I will DEFINITELY want RED colour!!

I know I'm such a confused kid :(

Skejap in a relationship, lepas tu single lepas tu ina relationship status alik. Honestly? I don't intend to change my stats but becoz I was soo angry I decided I actually WANTED to be single but seriously? After 4 years to be single? I'M MAD! I've grown to be like him, to be a part of him, to be dependable on him and have someone by my side all the while of our nearly 5 years courtship (since 2005!).

I know all our close friends and those around me who has my facebook will think that I'm the one at fault, acting all emotional, worked up, confused kid bla bla bla. Do you think I care? Not at all! Its my profile for goodness sake, I choose what I want it to appear. The moment my status are set on single, strangers come up and ask out of thin air whether I'm free. I'M NOT! Even when I want to be single or all alone, deep down, he's all that I need. Not want, but NEED.

People won't understand and really it's their problem and actually none of their concern. No matter what I won't tell them why we quarrel. Let them think I'm the bad person in this battle (which actually i was, but that's besides the point!), I don't care less what people think. I know, we'll patch things up sooner or later. Him and I both know. Like you never do or say stuffs irrationally!

On to a better note, can't wait to meet Love on Saturday for our one on one date. Been hanging with friends alot lately, I didn't even get to have my time with him alone :( sad right. Hakz! Gonna plan our morning till evening itinerary. Body works, maybe Bird park, and RWS, movie at Vivo or maybe ride the SG Flyer. Wee~! So many places to go! ouh ouh ouh, we need to go shopping too! I need to get my new HP!! :)) sO FUXITED! :)

ps: Company is having Dinner & Dance this coming Monday? Should I go? It's retro night. Can I come as Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time??!! To me, THAT'S RETRO. Hahaha!

Anw, I love you Love :)

"kalau lelaki lain, da lama kena tinggalkan"

Its really true what he says. Like my previous ex, he did exactly that - he left me. But I'm really thankful that ex left me coz I wouldn't have met my current beau :)

He really is not like other man that I heard from my gal friends. Their boyfriends really don't care at one point in the relationship and they have EGOS. Real man egos.

And it's different with HIM. He's totally any girl dream guy. The downside, he's not romantic. He's not seriously but when he do random surprises, he'll surprise you upside down that your heart just melt to the floor.

His tears aren't crocodile tears. Its hard to break a man and when he does, he really loves you. It really breaks me inside, i can really be stone hearted but i just can't bear to see him cry. I read alot of horoscopes abt matches between Libran and Cancerian. We're not destined for each other. But who believe all those crap? We're muslims and God definitely have someone for everyone regardless of their horoscopes and whatnots. Its how you build it, how you maintained it, how you treasure it and how you want the relationship to be. It's all you and your other half. Not about becoz you have differences. Diffenrences are meant to be compromised and worked out. Love is about compromise too not just trust and honesty.

For us, we're two separate character. I'm hot headed, he's patient. I'm romantic, he isn't. I'm paranoid, he's a realist. All these are good coz he's a gentleman that gives in, which always make me cool down after our big tiff. I love random messages of love and he tries his best to make surprises. I get worked up easily and he always brings me back down to Earth. It's like he's my other hand for me to clap.

I hear my friends complain abt things that their boyfriend does. And here I am finding fault in him and always using his past against him. See! Paranoia! When I think back about it, I'm thankful he's not like their boyfriends. I really need to remind myself everytime we quarrel.

I love you Dee. Always and forever. You will always be treasured and you will always be that someone I want to be with all my life. No one and I repeat NO ONE is/was/were like you are how you meant to me right now and for life. I'm looking forward to our big day :)

iPhone 3GS

summary: this phone has all the things that a smartphone needs BUT its downside; the LOUSY camera. no flash, 3MP. its applications are the BOMB! :)

Nokia X6
summary: it has all the things i NEED! music phone, 5MP, Carl Zeiss optic w/ flash BUT applications are so-so. im a hardcore Nokia fan, trust me :)

conclusions? i think i already made up my mind. applications are of none importance. music is the MOST important and camera coz i cant afford a digicam at the moment. i don't need applications that much. i can always buy an iPod Touch much later. i made up my mind people :) once a nokia, always a NOKIA :)

Anyways people (who cares!), 8 more months exactly to the fateful day :) I'm soo excited! Lol. I hope we have enough to make it happen. He suggested the date so let's pray everything goes well aite :) I already have the things in mind on what I wanna exchange with him and how it will be like *hehe* But before the mildly big day, comes another excitement first! PHUKET! With the peeps :)) i really am looking forward to holidaying with Shahid, Dila, Hussien and hopefully Ams will follow. He might start school but we can always push forward the date for you my deaqr fren. Anything just so we can go holiday together. Save up peeps! Im OK with 5 PEOPLE IN A ROOM! *hehe* can't freaking wait :D

Aku Wanita Biasa


Aku ini wanita biasa
Bisa sakit luka karena cinta
Dingin sepi kerap menyapa
Air mata jatuh lukisan raga

Kadang ku kuat setegar karang
Kadang ku rapuh lemah liar merana

Maafkan aku bila hasratku keliru
Surut gairah jiwamu
Ku yang dosakan cinta kekasih
Maafkan aku bila hasratku keliru
Surut gairah jiwamu
Ku yang dosakan cinta kekasih hatiku

Kekasih hatiku maafkan aku
Aku wanita biasa

Dingin sepi kerap menyapa
Air mata jatuh lukisan raga
Kadang ku kuat setegar karang
Kadang ku rapuh lemah liar merana

Maafkan aku bila hasratku keliru
Surut gairah jiwamu
Ku yang dosakan cinta kekasih
Maafkan aku bila hasratku keliru
Surut gairah jiwamu
Ku yang dosakan cinta kekasih hatiku

Maafkan aku

Sung By Kris Dayanti

Tears fall like rain at night before I sleep myself goodbye for the day to begin yet another lonely one

The sadness in my heart, no one will understand...

I honestly believe that sometimes I'm of none importance.

Like I don't have a place on his fun side.

I feel that I deserve to be shown to the world; he should at least show to the world that I'm someone to his circle of friends.

I don't feel like I do.

I do feel the pinch when he cares about his friends more than I do.

I don't only need to feel. I need to see.

I'm childish I know.

But what's a girl to do

:'(

Let the pictures do the talkin...

Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Let me teach you the lesson of your life...

God taught us that we should not expose our evil deeds. But with the internet, can we not expose ourselves to the world? We rant and whine and shared and make jealous or boast about daily routines, outings, etc2 to the world.

Maybe some of us are just so into it that we forgot that the whole world reads them! Now with the Facebook and Twitter as platforms for us to update about our daily lives, their current and future going ons practically everyone knows you (or your dirty little secret)..

I understand the need to tell people about your most joyous celebrations, gatherings, happenings and whatnots but please do them smartly. Please censor whatever that you type.

Talk about censorship, I wanna refer back to the sex scandals that has been the talk of the town. Why so shocked about what she did? Just becoz she's a celebrity and you're not? It doesn't matter. The point is: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE VEDIOTAPING YOUR SEX RAUCH?! Don't you find it stupidly stupid to be filming yourselves. Personally I felt that you loose all the steam and focus. THINK. Why should you even film it? For future references or something? Aren't you scared that if you break up or fall out with the other person, he might sabotage you?! If you do want to, please buy a vedio cam and make your own PROPER sex tape. That is the trend with all the Malay teen community last time. Now? I dunno and I swear I don't want to know. I'm sooo bloody thankful that I'm naive. Let me BE NAIVE. The other stupid thing is, why must you let a man vedio? And let him keep it?! Even FOOLISH. Male - they can be the worst beast on Earth! I pity her Mother, she'll faint knowing her daughter got really famous all for the wrong reasons and not becoz she was an actress.

The other things is bout SEX. I'm pissed with some people. Not naming them coz I don't wanna point fingers. Let me just post this for a general read.

God taught me, Parents also remind me, when you make mistakes or commit sin and no one knows it but yourself and God, please keep them to yourself. Like the saying goes, "kerana mulut, badan binasa" I'm talking about your misdemeanour, your promiscuous behaviour, your evil deeds, your maksiat lah pendek kata. Jangan fikir air tenang tiada buaya. Orang yang muka nampak baik, yang tak sampai hati nak pijak semut, HAH, tu lah orang2 yang kadang paling nakal dan paling patot kita jaga2. Kadang2 orang ni muka dia handsome, tapi gay. Muka lawa, tapi lesbian. Muka sweet tapi padahal dah mak orang atau kasar cakap dah kene main ngn papa dia yang jahat tu. Muka baik tapi pernah amik drug. Muka garang/jahat tapi warak. Macam2 lagi ah. Appearances don't matter anymore. Their character does! What they do is what that matters! Or shall I say, what we see with our own two eyes is what that matters!

Tolong lah jangan bilang orang pasal maksiat kau da buat. Kau nak main dengan pompan mane2 ke, time dia uzur ke, tengah mengandung ke, tengah nazak ke, dah mampos ke..AKU TAK NAK TAU. Perangai setan. Tolong lah jangan sama kan aku dengan orang macam kau atau pon pompan2 bodoh yang bersepah pat luar tu. Aku tak bodoh macam orang2 macam kau nak bilang2 orang ape dosa aku dah buat atau belom buat. Please lah, jijik aku dengar. Semua dosa dan ibadah aku buat biarlah hanya Allah sahaja yang tau. u said "muka decent tah2 dah kene pangken" Kau pikir aku pompan takda maruah kape?! I'm a lady, please treat me and speak to me with respect. I just know you ok. Even tho I just know you I already know your character and your misdeeds. What a bad first impression. Don't think I smile, or smirk, or listen, or laugh, or acknowledge what you say, means I'm ok. It blardy means you're a FUCKING asshole that i'm forced to listen to and i'm forced to ignore you sometimes. You blardy hell stay away from me. Stop disrespecting me and bringing me down to your level. You disgust me!

And I'm very angry with people who tell other people (or the whole world) about what they did with their partners. I'm not a very pious person but I stand my grounds and draw my line at telling people about my personal life, my intimate details and all those nitty gritty stuffs. I am a firm believer of this thing called concealing your misbehaviour from the world. Macam orang kata, keabaiban yang kau lakukan, besar ke kecil ke, jangan heboh2 kan. Biar Allah sahaja tahu kerana Dia telah pon tutop keabiban kamu. Jangan lah jadi bodoh dan mengheboh kan dosa kamu pada orang lain. There's a sunnah for this but I forgot. (I've actually learnt my lesson in telling my secret with a girl best friend at that time. SHE broke my trust and her promise by telling my other friends about it. But I forgave her coz watever she did, she's still my friend. I don't share secrets anymore ESP with girls ever again. They will never shut their big ass trap!!)
Why let other people know? Aren't you ashamed of what you did? So proud of your stupid misdemeanour? Feel good that people know who've fucked or had been fucking around before marriage? Where's your honour?
Where's your religion most importantly?!

Ya Allah, ampunkan lah dosa ku. Jangan lah sampai aku digolongkan dengan manusia2 yang kamu rejam.

I'm being naggy and poeple will say, "pompan ni macam betol je, tah2 dia pon sama". Wallahualam. I won't tell you, let God only know. I don't need to bring myself down to lowlifes like you people who don't have any respect for yourselves let alone other people. Don't be stupid, BLOG, FACEBOOK, TWITTER SAFELY. The whole world is at your doorstep. I know I have done my fair share of sins and misdeeds but you don't need to be KPO and I don't need to shame myself further.

Man is neither angel nor brute, and the misfortune is he would act the angel acts the brute - Pascal