*-= sWiNg sWiNg - AlL aMeRiCaN rEjEcTs=-*
HeY Guys.. As'kum (peace be upon you FYI)... I've been thinking alot these days. I don't know whether is it so important to think about all these things. What eh? Hmm.. About relationships, friendships and kinships... Basically everything larh. For me, its very difficult to b alone cause I really hate being alone and all by myself. I always want a companion beside me and I don't mind whoever is with me. It sucks being single...in some occasion larh...not all the time u noe... And its so great too being single coz I get to b there for everyone anytime. I need and I want to have someone I can call my own. But I feel right now is better for me to be one person. Hmm. My bestfriend is in the same boat as me. She likes someone that is impossible to get; like me. *sigh* I hate living in a dream especially if it lives in me for a few years. I want reality not fantasy. Dreams are just there to keep you going on believing in it. Life is unfair. Never was fair. Some girls flirt just to be around some guys. Well, thats not me! I don't play with the heart just to satisfy myself for my entertainment pleasure. I expect the same way guys will treat me. I'm not here for fun. Love is not for fun. Lust and sex is never for fun!
My family is always busy. Busy with keeping food on the table. I love my Mum. She means the whole world to me. I may be rebelllious to her in some occasions. I regret that. I miss having alot of fun as a family together. Sometimes its hard to ask her out coz she would be tired and resting after a hard days work and keeping the house in shape. I would always help out when I can. Cooking? *haha* Jgn haraplah. I hate cooking and it sucks anyway. My sister has someone. There's a prob here and there that my parents don't like. I tried my best to be there for here and advice her. She too means the world to me. Adik perempuan mah.
Friends are always there for me. But sometimes its so hard to get together. Mesti ada yang busy atau penat or there's other personal things to do. I feel so lost... At school I always would think abt my old friends. Really miss them alot! I always hang out at school early and go home late. Kadang2 just for fun and hang out jer. Going out with each one of them is difficult too. I'm so free that I can be there for anyone anytime! One stays way in the west, the other have her personal *ehem2* haha. Holidays are such a bore. Thats why u c me so free that I'm always asking anyone out and they can ask me out anytime. I need a life! Well I have a life. *haha* Sometimes wen my mood swings je then the emptiness will fill this shallow heart.
Today I wore my blue polo T. And the weird thing abt today is my classmates look at me 1 kind. haha. Its coz a put on a lil make up today. Klu ada free time je pki klu tak simple je, wear celak oni.I hate it if going to the cafe for our break. mesti makan tak abiz tau. Haiz, futhermore I have no idea wat else to eat. Hate eating heavily in the morning. Now I'm having my OFA lesson. Presentation. Boredz!
This is for my best guy fren,Fir: I wont message you for a period of time. Don't worry, I'll come back one day. I really need you to concentrate fully on your O levels. Don't dissapoint ur mum and urself. Don't let this one year go down the drain. I have confidence in you and high hopes for you. I'll always pray for your happiness and strength. Good luck kz. As for my birthday, don't bother. I'll have my fun. Lgpun, its my exam period too and bulan puasa. I'll talk to you again soon. Tkcr friend...
~TaKe cArE pEEpS~
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